I'm Against Same Sex Marriage

I'm against same sex marriage. I'm against any marriage where you have the same sex all the time. In fact the missionary position should be restricted to once a month, or just when your partner feels gassy.

Let's make any marriage involving having the same sex illegal.
How about a little role playing? I'd be up for that in a marriage bill. I'm against same sex, and for doing something different like role playing during sex.
Wait, I don't really understand role playing. Like having your lady friend dress up like a French maid. I especially don't get that. "Yeah honey, put this on and we'll do it... and then clean the house"
Or I've seen these outfits like you dress up like sexy Dorothy, or sexy Alice in Wonderland. What's that saying? "Yeah put this on, let's have sex, then get lost."

Actually dressing up for sex is a mystery to me. Say your woman puts on sexy lingerie, and all this stuff... And then 20 seconds later you take it all off her. And it's waaaaay more shit than she normally wears, and you have to untie and unbuckle and all this crap.
Look, I have a helluva time with a bra with one clasp. Some of those outfits have about 30. All lingerie does is prolong foreplay. Which just keeps me keeps me from going to bed sooner.

Yes, let's make having boring sex illegal, and a tax write off for sex toys.
(Prop 69 baby, let's vote on that!)