Lhasa Apso?

Lhasa Asshole is more like it. Fucking dog chewed up another set of wood mini-blinds (200 in the hole!) and saturday he chewed up my thumb pretty good. Losing the nail. Turns out he doesn't like to be caught when he runs away. Who new!?! Well the wifey is upset, but being that he's completely chewed up four mini blinds in the house, my hand and thumb, and has made the entire house his toilet (or vomitorium. Yes the dog LOOOOVES to vomit. Daily! If you leave him alone, he gets upset and vomits)
Ah, but he's SOOOOO cute though.
Love him to death. TO DEATH

I'm Against Same Sex Marriage

I'm against same sex marriage. I'm against any marriage where you have the same sex all the time. In fact the missionary position should be restricted to once a month, or just when your partner feels gassy.

Let's make any marriage involving having the same sex illegal.
How about a little role playing? I'd be up for that in a marriage bill. I'm against same sex, and for doing something different like role playing during sex.
Wait, I don't really understand role playing. Like having your lady friend dress up like a French maid. I especially don't get that. "Yeah honey, put this on and we'll do it... and then clean the house"
Or I've seen these outfits like you dress up like sexy Dorothy, or sexy Alice in Wonderland. What's that saying? "Yeah put this on, let's have sex, then get lost."

Actually dressing up for sex is a mystery to me. Say your woman puts on sexy lingerie, and all this stuff... And then 20 seconds later you take it all off her. And it's waaaaay more shit than she normally wears, and you have to untie and unbuckle and all this crap.
Look, I have a helluva time with a bra with one clasp. Some of those outfits have about 30. All lingerie does is prolong foreplay. Which just keeps me keeps me from going to bed sooner.

Yes, let's make having boring sex illegal, and a tax write off for sex toys.
(Prop 69 baby, let's vote on that!)

Know how to get your dog's breath to stop smelling bad?

Does your dog's breath smell bad? Want to know how to get it to smell minty fresh? Dip their wiener in some mouth wash, it'll freshen their breath while they hardcore lick their doggy bits.

Seriously, you people give the government waaaay too much credit

Look, the government can't find Bin Laden, they can't balance a budget, they can't even tie their own shoe laces. In fact have you met government employees? Have you gone to the DMV?
Now imagine these people faking a moon landing. Or better yet... Successfully pulling off 9-11 and making it look like terrorists did it.
Does anyone remember what the Government actually tried doing? How about bay of pigs! Iran Contra! Anything in the last 100 years!
SERIOUSLY! People give the government WAAAAAAY too much credit!
The cia can't even find fucking ANY terrorists! They couldn't even find Sadaam!!! Sadaam's handlers took up our government on the reward.
Saying that the government killed JFK, saying that the government orchestrated 9-11, saying that the government has done anything at all is a the most insanely stupid thing I've ever heard in my entire life.
Yeah, fake moon landing (keep hearing about this lately, that's why I bring it up)... It was a joke that the Kennedy clan came up with one Christmas. The billions of dollars that was actually supposed to go to landing on the moon went into planning his own assassination. All that money went into sacred rituals, and the procurement of virgin sacrifices to create that "magic bullet".
You know who creates hoaxes? Bored people. Famous Loch ness monster picture? Turns out it was a boat with a little neck on the top some guy created and pictured. That famous bigfoot video? It WAS a guy in a gorilla suit.
Those are cool hoaxes. Moon landing? Fucking gay. If I had billions of dollars, I would have faked some landing on mars. Or some bad ass made up planet. Why the fucking moon? What did we have to gain from landing on the moon? Honestly I can see the government wasting money on trying to send people to the moon. We totally needed a flag on that moon.
Our government can not accomplish anything. NOTHING!
DO NOT EVEN THINK to give them credit for doing anything as elaborate as that shit. No.
People are so fucking stupid. We need to be more involved in our government, and how this fucking country's run. If we had a brighter breed of gov't official, THEN maybe we could be faking some sweet-ass landings, then using that money on coups that actually succeed.

Oh and one more thing. People who think that the government is trying to hide the existence of aliens from us... Why would they try to hide the existence of e.t.'s? What's the fucking point of hiding aliens? Your mind's would be BLOWN AWAY if you found out that there was visitors to this planet.
We have a fucking color coded terror system (or did till this week), and screening every person with a tan that comes into this country, and making damned sure that we know about it. In the 50's we were looking for communists everywhere, and wanting our citizens to report it to the government, and having public trials of communists, and have been pretty good at issuing a press release if they find fossilized bacteria turds on mars.
But full-on mother fucking aliens in a ship visiting our country. Well that's cool. Don't tell anyone.

Honest to God. People are insanely stupid.

While on the topic of Satan.....

How does hell work?
Think about it... When you die you're... uh... well dead. You cease to be. You get maggots and shit eating your body, you're mind's toast. Your skin, nerves, senses, all become a liquified pile of goo. You're not feeling a god damned thing.
So the common conception of hell is of you, in your body, being tortured.
You know burned, cut, whipped, raped by giant pandas eating sausages watching judge judy. Shit like that.
How is satan torturing your liquified corpse? How are you feeling all that torture without your body and nerves and what not?

I vote for hell being an absence of God, rather than being literally tortured. That or Satan is like one of those obsessive hot-rod restorer type guys and painstakenly reconstructs your body down there, maybe paints some sweet flames, maybe just puts real flames on, whatever... Oh dude it'd be so awesome to get like a chrome exhaust on my tortured hell bound body.
Can you imagine me with a SWEET shiny chrome colon?
Bad-ass

YES WE CAN!

Yes we can! (be completely retarded)
Someone at work clued me into a you tube video. Go to you tube and search "Yes we can backwards". I'm sure many of you are net savvy and found this already, but if you haven't here's the synopsis. It's Obama saying his famous "yes we can" slogan a few times, but if you play it backwards, it kinda sounds like "thank you Satan"
Hearing that was truly an a-ha! moment for all of us who listen to everything our politicians say forward and backwards, and it's great to hear a politician finally thank Satan for getting him/her/it/hermaphroditic super beast, into office.
What you don't know is that the "Yes we can" slogan, is actually taken from Jesse Jackson's unsuccessful 1988 presidential run where he spoke of "we can ____", "we can ___" , we can do just about anything which the "we can" slogan/idea was taken from the civil rights movement of the 1960's.
So is it ignorant, racist, or just plain stupid that people are using this as proof that he's aligned with the devil?
Was desegregation a work of Satan? Was the right to vote a work of the devil? Was the civil rights movement in general the work of the lord of darkness or...
Racist.

- Side note: Way back when I took clips off of my Genesis version of Mortal Kombat, recorded them and then put them on my computer. I found out that if you sped up "All too easy", you could clearly hear him say "Asshole" True story!

So the people who actually believe this to be further proof of his satanic affiliations, are they stupid, racist, or giving him waaaaay more credit than he deserves for having super natural powers?

Detrious and debris

Cleaning out the mental, many posts to come!